No "Besties" in business- 7 Tips for Stepping up into people management.

I was talking to a Manager I have worked with over the last 18 months on stepping up into management and she came out with the phrase “No bestie’s in business” This was her way of separating herself and her emotions as a Manager. Along with the other Supervisors at this organisation I have seen a marked change in how they operate and it’s been a pleasure to be part of their journey through coaching and training.

The phrase made me think about how important the move into people management is. I train on this regularly and I consider it one of the most difficult steps to take in a career, being part of a team then moving to the leading or managing that team whether as Supervisor, team leader, manager or Director. The transition from being part of the team to commanding respect and authority as leader of the same people can be tricky, but it can be successfully carried out.

There are many facets to this new role, but one of the key points is learning that you cannot be a “bestie” in business. Here are a few of my tips:

Know your boundaries

When you step into management you need to have boundaries. To get respect you have to earn this and this means making sure you act accordingly and with some distance. For some this means not socialising in the same way or at all. You cannot expect to be partying hard with the team on a Friday and command respect on a Monday. You can be part of the team and happy and social, but you need to set an example and set yourself apart at work and play.

Don’t manage as a friend

As a new Manager you also need to learn when to put aside emotions. If you manage as a friend you will make decisions based on emotions not business needs or what is right. You need to remember your position as a manager and act accordingly with professionalism. Being liked is not always as important as being respected or admired in business.

Empathy not sympathy

In situations when you are required to give difficult information it is better to use empathy that sympathy. Empathy says “I know this is difficult for you we will support you how we can” Sympathy says “this must be awful I was in the same position and this is what I did...” When you are receiving a difficult message you need clean message not the story of the person giving the message. As a new manager remember to use empathy and keep your boundaries.

Rapport

You may not be “besties” but you need to have rapport with your team. It is important to get to know how people like to communicate. Who is visual or who is auditory? Who likes the story and who just likes the ending? Who is practical and who likes to read? Who likes praise and public recognition and who is motivated by new challenges? Your key role as a new leader is to know the individuals in your team and what makes them tick. Not as a friend but as a leader.

Act Fairly and consistently.

It is important as a new manager to build trust and you do this by being open and transparent in your approach, but also by being fair and consistent in your treatment of people in your team. We all like some people more than others, but if you like someone more do you praise them more? If you like someone less to you speak to them less? No “besties” in business means you treat all equally and consistently.

Be Supportive

You may not be a “friend” but you can still support as a Manager. Know your team and when they need help.

Seek Feedback

If you want to know how you are doing, ask your team. Not as a friend in the pub, but as Manager of the team in a professional way. Ask if they feel motivated or engaged. Discuss communication and how this is working. Review and be open to change.